I truly d-do regret to inform you, humble citizen, however... w-well... erm... how do I put this...you-you see... The day of Reckoning has, erm, arrived, and it brings with it t-terrible things, in-including, but n-not limited to:
W-Wait, those last two were just causes of lead p-poisoning, my apologies. I belive t-they handed out a umm... pamphlet of sorts, detailing all of the major events, and whatnot... i-it had a schedule and everything, however I... erm, well I-I seem to have... erm... misplaced it. D-Don't look at me like that! It truly w-was not that important.
You look quite glum, but uhh... The Day of Reckoning isn't all that bad! When life get's me down, I-I listen to my favorite podcast! Yes! Here, take a listen, you'll see what I mean, I swear it! ...B-But only if y-you want!
I erm, hope that made you f-feel a bit better... i-if you listened to it. ...T-this is getting a bit t-too awkward for m-my taste, so erm... I-I think I'm going to go home now. I wish you g-good fortune throughout The Day of Reckoning... I g-guess...
See you around...?